I have been having a really rough week. My babies aren't babies anymore & I have never been so baby hungry. As some of you may know I have had some fertility issues. I got twins naturally & now cant get pregnant again! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, so basically I dont make eggs & my hormones are all out of whack. Also it makes it super hard to loose weight, but super easy to gain it.
The first round of fertility treatment I did was about a year ago & I got pregnant first try. But then very early in I had a miscarriage. Which was still really hard for me. I wanted it so bad & even though I only knew I was pregnant for a few weeks it was really awful to have that ripped away. In the end it was a blessing since I had to have some gall stones removed that were blocking my liver duct, then have my gall bladder removed.
We tried probably 6 more rounds of the fertility drug clomid & had no luck. It is so emotionally exhausting & stressful we stopped. I just wish so badly I could be one of those women who can just get pregnant so easily. And I know i am not. And I know that if i can never have another baby it will hurt for a while but in the end I will still have the best little girls in the world. But I am hoping that if I can lose some of this dang weight it will help me get pregnant. So my goal, the next 3 or 4 months loose 20 pounds. Maybe one day, if I work really really hard I will be back to this pre baby pre polycistic skinnier girl!! I can dream right?
Now onto a more upbeat subject! I am going on my first official vacation since I was a little girl!! Now I have been camping alot & to lake powell. But in April I am going on a girls trip to San Francisco!